Introducing Logan Brown: author, father and our newest member of the iCandy family.
Logan Brown is a transgender man who unexpectedly became pregnant with his partner Bailey J Mills, a non-binary drag performer in the UK.
iCandy caught up with Logan a few weeks after he gave birth to his beautiful daughter, Nova to discuss navigating life as a new parent and transgender man...
Congratulations on the arrival of your beautiful baby daughter, Nova. How are you all doing?
Thank you! We are doing good, taking each day as it comes. We've been out and about and getting to learn all about baby Nova. We're getting through the highs and the lows of being new parents. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be, but in all fairness, we’re doing our best and Nova is a dream come true.
How did you and your partner Bailey meet?
I remember watching Bailey’s viral videos on TikTok and Instagram and one day I came across a video where they were quite vulnerable in the video, and I felt like I could really relate to them. I reached out to Bailey, we started chatting, met up and instantly became a little dream team. They mean a lot to me, and they are so caring and accepting.
Have you always wanted children?
I haven't always wanted children, in fact… it didn’t even enter my mind that it was an option to have children. Before falling pregnant, I kind of always stood by the view of not wanting children or feeling like it was for me! In most Queer relationships or dating it’s something that we've been oppressed by and told that we would never be able to do. However, after finding out I was pregnant I quickly realised I never wanted my baby taken away from me as it really is the most incredible thing in the world. To bring a child into the world by a couple who are authentically themselves and that sometimes having a menstrual cycle, being pregnant and raising children is not all women-related.
How did you find navigating pregnancy as a trans man?
At first, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how I would get through pregnancy as a transman, I couldn’t understand at first how I would even look, feel or how others would take me. I was so scared of what the world would think and constantly thought about what others would think. And I felt so dysphoric, I felt like I was truly reminded of who I previously was. But honestly after a short while and reminding myself that you cannot live for other people and that it was quite empowering for me to come this far with my body and then give birth to our own biological daughter, I found it ok in the end! I felt like a male who was pregnant.
Can you share your birthing experience with us?
We were in hospital for a week, I had an induced labour due to Nova’s reduced growth and I was in a lot of pain, we had her two weeks earlier than the original due date. I went through every single process you could think of to deliver a baby and it took two and a half days for my waters break. I went down to the labour ward at 6:30pm and Nova didn’t arrive until 9:30am the next day!
I was on the hormone drip, the contractions were so intense, and I was not dilating quickly enough. This went on for a long time until I eventually had an epidural which did not help and before we knew it, I had to have an emergency C-section. From what I remember, seeing Nova for the first time was an unbelievable experience. However, after giving birth, both Nova and I caught an infection. This was due to my waters being open for longer than 24 hours meaning we had to stay in hospital for longer, however we recovered very well!
How does it feel to be a parent?
When we first bought Nova home, I remember having this overwhelming feeling of ‘I’m not sure I’ll be very good at being a parent’. However very quickly I realised that she needs me, loves me and needs to be comforted by me. This is an extremely powerful and beautiful feeling, it’s such a huge responsibility.
What are your favourite things to do as a family already?
We’ve spent a lot of time at the park, going for food, meeting friends and family and sometimes you can’t beat just having morning cuddles together in bed to be honest! We also took Nova to her first Pride, to watch her other Daddy headline the mainstage! It was incredible and so beautiful to do that as a family, together.
What does Pride mean to you?
Pride is that one time of the year where I feel like myself and my community is seen. I feel free and like I can just be myself around others. Now that I have Bailey and Nova in my life, Pride is even more meaningful. It is important for my daughter to be brought up around so many different, unique individuals all fighting for equal rights. It’s so lovely knowing that we can celebrate together as a family.
Is it important to you that brands you choose to work with are proud supporters of the LGBTQIA+ community?
Absolutely! I’ve received an extreme amount of hate, death threats and articles that are so hurtful and harmful. But luckily, I have thick skin and I am very in awe with the amount of love I've received and to all the brands that have wanted to work with me and show their support, that means everything. However we need to make sure people like myself are supported all year round too. With brands showcasing people from the LGBTQIA+ community and by being inclusive, it shows how all families are different and helps them feel like their representation is there for them.
What makes you feel empowered as a trans man?
I’ve said this quite a few times now, but it's so true and I still stand by it. Whoever I say I am, is exactly who I am and no matter how many times people try to debate my existence, I am a trans, pregnant man. I spent such a long time working on my body and understanding who I was and still am but I’m now at the point where if someone chooses to direct hate crime towards me, the joke is on them. I’m living as my true self, I have an amazing partner and a beautiful daughter, we’re living our best life! It’s empowering knowing that publications like Glamour choose to put me on the front cover of their magazine because that is so major for the trans community!
Do you feel empowered to spread awareness to your own family and future generations about your own trans experience?
Yes, with anything in life, if something doesn't sit right with me or if I see someone being mistreated, I've always wanted to speak up for others who can’t, and I'm so glad that I have been able to share my story with others. A story that has helped people understand and I hope to be part of a movement where I can help things get even better in the future!
I’ll always continue to use my voice.