Tuesday 22nd August marks National Rainbow Baby Day, an important day to honour all of the rainbow babies in the world, as well as taking a moment to remember and reflect on the siblings who came before them and sadly aren’t with us.
At iCandy, we are incredibly proud to work with so many parents, including those who have unfortunately experienced the loss of a baby. We feel very passionate about raising awareness of the incredible support available for those who may need it and it’s also an opportunity to celebrate the beautiful babies born thanks to the hard work taking place in amazing research centres, clinics and charity organisations around the world.
Tommy’s is the largest charity carrying out research into pregnancy loss and premature birth in the UK. They offer amazing support, information and specialist care for anyone who has experienced the loss of a baby and have helped thousands of families bring home their rainbow baby after experiencing the heartbreak of loss. For more information or to join their baby loss support group on Facebook, visit their website here.
Often reaching out for help is the hardest part but incredible organisations such as, The Miscarriage Assocation, are available to provide information and support to those who may need it. They offer a UK-wide network of support group volunteers with personal experiences, who can offer a real understanding. To read more about their extensive support services, visit their website here.
It’s important to remember that you are never on your own, and a number of our immensely courageous and extended iCandy families have shared their individual stories, along with valuable advice for those who might find it helpful.
“As I write this I can feel my eyes welling up and the tears rolling down my cheeks, because Rainbow Baby Day is something we can celebrate this year. Winnie is four months now and she is our double rainbow baby. After losing two babies before Winnie, I never thought we would get to where we are now. It’s been a whirlwind few years, from hitting rock bottom and having to slowly climb back up, but we made it.
Losing a baby never leaves you. A little bit of your heart leaves too, but when your rainbow arrives, they come with bandages and plasters to help the wounds heal. It still hurts and I still think about our losses a lot, but I like to imagine that Winnie has literally wrapped my heart up and helped to ease the pain. She’s our little miracle and I know that her siblings live on through her.
To anyone who’s still waiting for their rainbow, we see you. My only tip is to never give up hope. Hope is the only thing that kept me going on the darkest days. Hope was the one thing that got me up in the morning and the one thing that helped me sleep at night.
You will never “get over” your losses but I promise in time things will get easier. I find a lot of comfort in visiting our babies memorials and we use their anniversaries as days we are allowed to feel sad and use them to honour their little lives however small they may have been, they left a huge hole in our lives.”
“Both of my beautiful children are rainbow babies. I gave birth to Leo after a termination for medical reasons in 2020 and after a miscarriage we welcomed our first-born living child, Ellis into our family. After a further miscarriage we welcomed Aubrey. Five pregnancies and two children feels weird to read on my medical notes and is bittersweet. It’s a lovely way to remember my babies that I grew and loved even if for a moment, but it is also a constant reminder of the loss within our family.
Although so many women go through it, losing a baby can be one of the loneliest feelings.
For me, I found it so hard to feel connected to anyone around me, almost like no one knew the right thing to say or do. If someone you know has lost a baby:-
- Make sure they know you are there to support in any way. Anything, no matter how small, will be appreciated. Whether that’s a text to let them know they’re on your mind, taking over a hot meal or sending them flowers.
- Pregnancy news may hurt a lot right now. Being given someone’s pregnancy news in a big group or as a post on Instagram can hurt a lot. Go to them directly and make sure you give them time and space to process this.
- Talk about the baby they’ve lost if they’re ready. I am very open and always like being reminded of the babies I’ve lost as they are and always will be a part of our family.
- A little gift with their babies name on can validate their grief and gives them a beautiful reminder of their baby. One of my friends bought me a candle with Leo’s name and date of birth on it and this is one of my favourite gifts I’ve ever received.
Ultimately, everyone grieves in different ways but knowing a friend is there to support you when you need them is something that you never forget.”